Part 4: THE SIDE CHICK MINDSET

Rachael Mumo

A seasoned faith-based Counselor. Grow emotionally, mentally, physically and most importantly spiritually. Contact: +254768070591

There are two types of side chicks.

The wounded and the willing.

Let’s talk about the wounded girl..

Series:Spiritual Warfare In Marriage.

“For we are not ignorant of the enemy’s devices…”

2 Corinthians 2:11

I am a laborer in the kingdom of my father and to me every soul matters no matter how you see them, I see souls that need saving and healing.

We’re not just talking about women, we’re talking about strongholds, soul wounds, and spirits that hijack women’s identities for warfare against covenant.

This is beyond flesh. It’s warfare at the identity level. Hell doesn’t need a willing woman; it just needs a wounded one. A woman whose soul has been fragmented through childhood trauma, abandonment, emotional neglect, and unmet love needs. The enemy steps in where the father didn’t. The counterfeit appears where healing was delayed. And what looks like “romance” is really a setup for covenant destruction.

THE WOUNDED SIDE CHICK, A TOOL IN WARFARE THROUGH BROKENNESS

This woman didn’t grow up dreaming of being “the other woman.” She didn’t start off wanting to break up homes. Her path into this role is almost always paved with invisible pain.

She’s the woman with:

Father wounds – the absence of affirmation and affection

Rejection trauma – from childhood, past lovers, or deep betrayal

Low self worth, formed through constant comparison and emotional neglect

Unhealed abandonment, from being unseen, unheard, or unchosen

Emotional starvation – she’s not looking for lust, she’s looking for connection

She didn’t choose this identity, it grew from neglect, from an ache that never healed.

And so, when a man comes along with charisma, attention, and emotional availability, even if he’s married, she interprets his interest as love.

Why? Because no one ever told her she was enough without being someone’s option.

The enemy preys on her emotional malnutrition.

She craves validation and attention and being chosen, so she settles for attention.

She’s not evil, she’s broken.

She doesn’t always even know he’s married at first, but when she does, the soul tie is already formed.

By the time truth dawns, she’s emotionally entangled, mentally addicted to the fantasy, and spiritually bound. She convinces herself:

“Maybe I’m his soulmate.”

“Maybe his wife doesn’t understand him.”

“Maybe God brought us together and the timing was just wrong.”

These are not harmless thoughts, these are demonic whispers disguised as destiny.

It’s not fate, it’s a trap.

The Spiritual Roots Behind Her Mindset:

Spirit of Rejection

She’ll do anything to belong. She believes that being second is better than being alone. But this is not love, it’s a trauma bond.

2. Orphan Spirit

She doesn’t feel chosen, covered, or seen. She lives as if she must earn love by being convenient, available, and sacrificial, even to her own detriment.

3. Spirit of Manipulation (disguised as affection)

She doesn’t know she’s manipulating, but her neediness becomes a trap. She bonds through crisis, through shared secrets, through false intimacy. What she thinks is connection is often a web of spiritual bondage.

She’s not operating in pure evil,she’s operating from a fractured soul. And the enemy doesn’t need her to be wicked. He just needs her to stay unhealed.

What She Needs:

Inner Healing – She must confront the wounds that made her vulnerable. That part pf her that keep attracting dysfunctional relationships.

Identity Restoration – She must meet the Father she never had, and realize she’s already loved, because Jesus loves her and willing to quench her thirst just like the samaritan woman.